Friday, January 4, 2013

Opening myself to people and opportunities

I have some OCD and lots of feelings of perfectionism fighting with impatience. My mind is a constant battlefield.

This is one of the reasons I really like to crochet, I can get sucked into the repetitive motions and the organized pattern and just count a lot and it really helps me calm down and just focus on creating. The possibilities of crocheting are endless and looking through patterns and yarns fill me with hope and eagerness and the greatest desire to contribute to the artistic community.

I never feel that way with people. Meeting a bunch of new people makes me skeptical and apprehensive and I see all the negatives and put up a personal bubble to isolate myself to some extent. I let new people see the persona that is appropriate for the situation but never all of me. Which is probably due to my life-long connection to the stage and being burned by those who were closest to me.

So we keep trying every day. Some days are winners. Others are not but the only way you loose it to not try at all.

(Kind of depressing today huh? I didn't intend it to be but its what came out of my fingers...I even had a pretty good day!)

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