Saturday, June 15, 2013

No muses, a big sad, and not enough wine

So since our move to the Bay Area I've hardly picked up my crocheting at all. I just haven't had the urge and there's just so much to explore (btw, I just kept hitting the ' key and got pissed when it wasn't showing up and changing where I was on the page.....I was actually hitting where the ' key is on my phone's QWERTY keypad and not on the actual computers, duh). I do have to make some items soon as I need to do my wig for the Labyrinth of Jareth Ball, but there's just so many other things on my mind lately.

I also had someone who has been very dear to my for nearly 20 years hurt me, saying things just to be mean and very single-sided and coming from a place of fear. I know I will have to deal with this very soon (probably a phone call tomorrow) but life, especially with family, is very complicated and sometimes there's just no way to explain things to someone who wasn't involved when they happened, or why, or why you take it so personally. Sometimes its better to keep things to yourself but I've always had a problem with that one.

I also have a hard time interacting with people who are outside of my usual world. Sometimes there's just something about people that makes you instantly click with them and you can just meet their eye and have a kind of kindred connection and have immediate inside jokes without a word. I had some of those tonite among a larger group who I did not necessarily click with. Most of the knowing looks involved realizing it was time to get another drink......and sometimes there is just not enough wine to keep everyone distracted and happy.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

I'm still here

It was pointed out today that I hadn't updated my blog in quite a while.

Well after being super busy with work all winter we found out that the bf got hired for a new job in Oakland, 6 hours and over 350 miles from our home. We had a few weeks to pack up everything and in two waves, we moved.

Its been a wave of emotions since I got up here and although for the most part I think its a good thing I do miss my friends a lot. I always thought I didn't have a lot of close friends but now that I can't see them 'whenever', its become very apparent that those people are my family and its so special whenever I get to see them or even skype or talk to them now.  I've been back twice since the move (once for another carload full of belongings and to use a Disneyland ticket one of the aforementioned friends got me as a moving present and another trip for a theatre gig while I was between jobs up here) and I love seeing my people.

It sucks to see that so many of my people are going thru trying times now that I'm so far away. I try to do my best to be supportive but I always feel like I could and should be doing more.....again with the perfectionism and OCD (see past entries).


As for my crafts, well I've started a few projects since the great unpacking but have yet to finish one single thing. I did however, sell my prototype wig! So glad it got to go to a new home :)

I need to get focused again and work on myself, my business and my organization instead of trying to adventure so much around my new home.