No muses, a big sad, and not enough wine

So since our move to the Bay Area I've hardly picked up my crocheting at all. I just haven't had the urge and there's just so much to explore (btw, I just kept hitting the ' key and got pissed when it wasn't showing up and changing where I was on the page.....I was actually hitting where the ' key is on my phone's QWERTY keypad and not on the actual computers, duh). I do have to make some items soon as I need to do my wig for the Labyrinth of Jareth Ball, but there's just so many other things on my mind lately.

I also had someone who has been very dear to my for nearly 20 years hurt me, saying things just to be mean and very single-sided and coming from a place of fear. I know I will have to deal with this very soon (probably a phone call tomorrow) but life, especially with family, is very complicated and sometimes there's just no way to explain things to someone who wasn't involved when they happened, or why, or why you take it so personally. Sometimes its better to keep things to yourself but I've always had a problem with that one.

I also have a hard time interacting with people who are outside of my usual world. Sometimes there's just something about people that makes you instantly click with them and you can just meet their eye and have a kind of kindred connection and have immediate inside jokes without a word. I had some of those tonite among a larger group who I did not necessarily click with. Most of the knowing looks involved realizing it was time to get another drink......and sometimes there is just not enough wine to keep everyone distracted and happy.

I'm still here

It was pointed out today that I hadn't updated my blog in quite a while.

Well after being super busy with work all winter we found out that the bf got hired for a new job in Oakland, 6 hours and over 350 miles from our home. We had a few weeks to pack up everything and in two waves, we moved.

Its been a wave of emotions since I got up here and although for the most part I think its a good thing I do miss my friends a lot. I always thought I didn't have a lot of close friends but now that I can't see them 'whenever', its become very apparent that those people are my family and its so special whenever I get to see them or even skype or talk to them now.  I've been back twice since the move (once for another carload full of belongings and to use a Disneyland ticket one of the aforementioned friends got me as a moving present and another trip for a theatre gig while I was between jobs up here) and I love seeing my people.

It sucks to see that so many of my people are going thru trying times now that I'm so far away. I try to do my best to be supportive but I always feel like I could and should be doing more.....again with the perfectionism and OCD (see past entries).

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As for my crafts, well I've started a few projects since the great unpacking but have yet to finish one single thing. I did however, sell my prototype wig! So glad it got to go to a new home :)

I need to get focused again and work on myself, my business and my organization instead of trying to adventure so much around my new home.

Coupon Code

So I've been having some heart problems lately and my doctor prescribed a bunch of medical tests and now the bills are starting to come in and I need to make some extra money. I've been sweet talking all of my theatre contacts and teachers to throw me some extra work but all the long hours (lots of 16-18 hour days the past few weeks) aren't helping my heart and I've decided to put my etsy shop on sale.

My coupon code is DAYOFFFROMWORK and gives 10% off every item, even ones already on sale. Hopefully I can sell enough to make a dent in the medical bills and grow my shop a little bit more.

Every sale really helps my bottom line and makes me prouder of what I make. Please take a look around the shop and buy something if you can or at least share my shop on your Facebook page, feel free to share the coupon code as well, every little bit helps!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/13thHourDesigns

Feeling Blah

So I've been feeling blah the last day or so. I took a few days off from crocheting to give my hands/wrists a rest and try to take care of other things (like get my butt back on my treadmill since I'm nearly halfway to my weight loss goal--but that's an entirely different blog). I miss the comfort crocheting gives me.

There's something so comforting and calming about crocheting. Its soft artistic nostalgia that puts my head at ease and lets me relax like nothing else. It takes me back to the Barbie doll clothes I used to make when we couldn't afford to buy her new clothes, I even made little ice skates for her using paperclips! I also turned my 8th grade 'egg baby' into Cartman from South Park by turning his head sideways and crocheting a little hat and body and using Weeple feet to make him look authentic. I was very creative as a child and left to my own devices most days at my Gramma's house who would let me use all of her scrap yarn or buy me new skeins whenever we went on shopping trips--and this was before Joann's and Michael's, Hughes Market had a yarn section next to the bread aisle and we had a mom and pop store Fabric Well nearby. I truly miss that store (it closed about 3 years ago), even though the old ladies who worked there ALWAYS gave me looks like I was shop lifting every single time I walked around another display.

Anyhow, I had a sad tonite and I think the best remedy for that is for me to get out a WIP (work in progress) and have a little 'me' time.

Therapy

I was just looking around Pinterest at craft ideas with buttons (while cleaning this weekend I found hundreds of buttons in a storage bin) and I can across a 'pin' that simply said: Yarn is cheaper than therapy.

Agreed.

Without my love of yarn and crocheting I might not be at the emotionally stable place that I am currently enjoying. While my Gramma was sick for four years in and out of hospitals and convalescent homes and in the 14 months since her death I have crocheted more than I ever have in my life combined. Even with my darkest depression and the sadness of mourning I was crocheting at least a few times as week with yarn constantly around me every day.

I loved sharing each of my projects with my Gramma. She had been the one to teach me how to crochet when I was about five years old and helped me up until the end. A few weeks before she went to the hospital at the end she gave me her zippered pouch of crochet hooks--I protested (as I typically did when she gave me money or gifts for no special reason, I was just happy to spend time with her) saying that they were her's and I had a bunch of my own and what if she wanted to make something. She said that her arthritis and shaking was making it too hard for her to hold her crochet work and that I would be sure to use them. I was scared and sad that she was nearing the end and she was but I have her zippered pouch tucked away someplace safe, unable to use them yet.

They still feel like hers.

My family's tradition has always been to bury your loved ones with items that were important to them and I made sure that I included one of her most used crochet hooks, G, in the casket.

Well, now that I'm crying I think I'll end this post by saying that yarn and crocheting have been a constant in my life and those are very hard for me to come by for me.

I DID IT!

I'm so proud of myself. After spending most of the day out in the garage cleaning it with my mom (over 35 years of our family history in there, plus all the random relatives we've had living with us here), and we got rid of 3 trash cans worth of junk and 2 car fulls of items donated to the thrift store (and I have a CR-V!)

At one point I looked across the street and saw a cute kittie I'd never seen around the neighborhood, I called out to it and she came right over (looking both ways before crossing--not kidding). The poor thing was so tiny compared to my two turkey cats and seemed friendly enough, she rubbed against me and let me pick her up so I brought out a bag of treats and gave her some, she ate half the bag so my mom suggested that I give her wet food. She DEVOURED the entire can barely taking a breathe between chomps. I texted my boyfriend (at the time on the first thrift store run) and he said, give her a second can--its cool.

So we let her hang out in the fenced part of the yard while we continued on the garage and she was so cute and friendly we finally let her come in (separated from the other animals for safety reasons). We took her to the vet to check if she was chipped and of course she isn't, so she's still with us tonite. The sweetest cat I've taken care of in years, mine don't like being held and only want love on their terms, but otherwise well trained. Tomorrow we're planning on putting up FOUND posters and checking with the local cat rescue group to find a home for her. We would love to keep her but its complicated. So for now, she's in the man cave in her very own kittie bed with her own food/water/litter box and lots of love.

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Back to my original post!

Yesterday I was complaining about the abundance of WIPs in my house, well tonite I bagged all of them except for the project I was actively working on and put them all away. It was a relief to only see one thing in front of me and I actually got to the last two rows of it and realized I needed another skein of that yarn, oh well, this is what always happens. Back to Michaels! But I really love this pattern that I'm adapting my project from. I'm going to do a series of these "infinity scoodies" and make them a staple in my shop---photos tomorrow after I get it all done :)

WIP aka work in progress

I find all these great ideas and get started on them right away then get distracted by my responsibilities like work, cleaning, errands, making dinner---you know boring adult stuff. Next thing you know I have WIPs hanging around every room of the house and in my car and I'm overwhelmed.

Its not an ohmygod I'm never gonna finish all of these projects (statistically only 80% of them will ever be completed), its more of a "I hate not getting things accomplished and these will be amazing finished items and then I'll use up my yarn stash"......in reality, my yarn stash will never be depleted. I go to Michaels or Joanns to get something I need for a custom order and everything is on sale and let's me use my smartphone app's coupons even for sale and clearance items and next thing you know my boyfriend is groaning because he can't even walk around the bedroom because there are bags of yarn and other supplies all over the place.

So maybe my New Years Resolution (which I am fairly good at keeping/attaining) should be to finish my WIP before I start another one, except for in cases of pending orders.

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Total side note but Cartoon Network should NOT play Nutcracker songs as the background music for Family Guy and American Dad! commercials...In fact NO ONE should EVER play ANY music from Nutcracker EVER AGAIN.

Its a stage hand thing. We're kind of required to hate Nutcracker, but that's an entirely different post.